lauantai 2. tammikuuta 2016

Chapter 6

Cassandra goes through the logs on the main computer on their working area. They describe their test subjects' routines, daily activities and some of  her and Abel's thoughts and opinions on what they're working on. She reads the first ten logs again and again, trying her best to keep her mind off of returning to an empty apartment. While she can't place her finger on it, she has a gut feeling that Abel's hiding something from her. She checks every word, every line that's been written by him in the past few days. In an attempt to keep her stress levels even relatively normal she smokes a cigarette, then another, eventually going through the pack she'd brought with her. As she lights the last cigarette she decides to leave for the day, turning off the computer and filling a cup with what's left in the coffee pot. She keeps the lit cigarette between the index and middle fingers of her right arm while she pours the coffee down her throat and sets it back on her lips once she's out of coffee. She collects the cigarette butts into a trash bin, picks up her bag and jacket and stomps out of the front door.

Once she gets outside she hurries to the nearest solid wall and buries her face in her hands. She feels a mix of sorrow and anger, not sure whether it's aimed towards herself or Abel. Unable to stand straight, she leans to the wall behind her, trying her best to keep from crying. She feels tears on her cheeks, mocking her attempts to stop them. She slumps to the stone paving under her and weeps.

As soon as she manages to cease crying she wipes her eyes and cheeks and stands up again. She feels worse than before and seeks for a way to stop the burning on her face. After finding none she decides to stare at her game console until she calms down and looks normal again. She finds it hard to concentrate on anything, especially a video game, but it's the only solution she could find to keep anyone from seeing her in the state she's in.

After ten minutes she finally starts feeling even remotely like herself again. She turns off the console and checks on the black, reflective screen that there are no sings of her emotional outburst. She notices a liquor store nearby and decides to drop by before heading home. Determined to numb her emotions she buys as many bottles of vodka and rum as she can fit in her bag, along with half a dozen packs of cigarettes.

She opens one of the vodka bottles as soon as she gets off the tram she took that stops near their apartment. She takes a big gulp while walking to the doors and another in the stairs. She ignores the strong burning sensation and concentrates only on getting the door open. Once she's inside she sits lazily on the couch and sets drops bag on the floor next to her. She sets the bottle in her hand on the coffee table in front of her after closing it, digs one of the cigarette packs out of the bag and starts smoking. Switching between smoking and drinking, she occasionally checks how much time there's left until Abel returns home.

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